Football News


This week

Hot / Not

Compiled by the Western New York Touch Football writers Association


The Injured reserve / Uncle Rico’s Game –

This is what M/ile football is all about. Back and forth - great offenses and sportsmanship. Injured reserve finally came out on top by 3

No soup for You – 

Rose up and knocked 1st place Conquistadors for a loop. Praise them.

Ball & Dolls – 

Finally broke out of their offensive shell and put up a great game. Josh Hocul threw like a boss. They remain in the race.

Tittsbugh Feelers – 

Over came the no-show of their QB and almost pulled it out.

Tournament Week – 

The excitement grows. There will be announcements every day. The fuse is lit.

Not >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Manny –

We were clear that Manny and the Conquistadors were jlaws bitch but no soup for you dressed Manny up in a skirt and heels and made him stand on a corner and make him money.

James Celletto - 

Called his team 1 hour before the game to say he wasn’t playing. No leadership.

Sour Apples – 

F*** these guys. They blew off a game and Moh allowed it. Keep an eye on this mess.

Garret Bessing –

Blew the group 2 MVP lead with a horrific (for him) showing against the Falconies. They tied.

EKleck   - 

Enough! Get over not being part of the Atomic butts boys. Throws a pissy fit after each game the Falconies lose demanding to know why some second stringer is allowed to play on 2 teams and not Dave Baker. This week it was Emily Schillings turn.  

    By The numbers 


.5 – Number of plays Moh went in for   the tittsburgh feelers - Ilene came on just before the ball was snapped.


1 – number of teams with no losses or   ties. The miles Bee team.


2 – Number of cases of Lucky Charms   cereal that will be given away at the tournament. Courtesy of General Mills.


3% - Chance the M/ile bee team will   remain Undefeated and run the regular season table.


4% - Chance Uncle Ricos team machine   will make the playoffs – down from 12%


5 – Number of days before the Super   awesome Spring fling tournament.


10 – Number of spots remaining for the   late/spring summer league.


12% - Chance Pali –elites will win a   game this session.


80% - Chance balls and Dolls will make   the group 2 playoffs.


The write-up Is compiled by the Western New York Touch football Writers association


Week 6


>Game of the week<

Injured reserve / Uncle Ricos +6

IR lost big to Tight ends in motion. Uncles Ricos won again edging No soup for you. Last weeks Injured reserve game stunk. The dudes could not get on the same page. Whenever jlaw was on target the IR receivers would plunk the ball. Whenever they were wide open Jlaw would force it and throw a pick. Mostly to the same girl on Tight ends. You can’t win like that.

Uncle Ricos has admittedly looked good. Their new Qb Brandon Pisano has picked up the game nicely and has UR pointed in the right direction. 

Uncle Ricos needs this game and with a win can move as high as third seed in the competitive group 1 playoff race. With a loss Injured, reserve falls to 5th.

We Believe Injured reserve will bounce back and end the dream for Uncle Ricos. IR will win in a shoot out.

IR By 6

>Runner -up<

Froddo Swaggins / Falconies +4

Froddo Swagins rolled Balls and Dolls. The Falconies lost in a heartbreaker  to Skeezers. This could be a great game to watch. The Falconies lost the last 2 weeks but the games have been razor close.  Last week they went for 2 and the win against Skeezers but missed it. Froddo Swaggins is simply the hottest thing going in recreational sports today. Garret Bessing is re-writing the book on how to play Qb in indoor football on turf. In a text to Moh Beesing - “Our offense is good but our defense is extraordinary”, states the G-dogg matter of factly, “We play 14 different distinct defenses, on one all 6 players play a different defense, it’s epic”. 

For their part the Falconies defense has been dismal. They basically don’t play defense and just try to outscore the other team. Beesing was humble about his chance to win and stay undefeated saturday. “We are going to roll up the Falconies and wipe our asses with them”. We agree.

Froddo Swaggins by 10

>May be worth watching< 

Skeezers / Pali Elites +12

Skeezers cheated and beat The Falconies. Pali-elites made it close against The m/ile Bee team. Skeezers were short players (again) and slipped in a d1 Tight ends in motion player. Joey Baggs explained to the league dictator director Moh that he had no idea  Kyle Coniff played for tight ends in motion, or he played in D1, or he played on another team, or even played in the league. The Bagg man claimed he thought Coniff was just a guy he met in the to go line at Tom Hortons out front. The Pali-elites had a big lead against the M/ile bee team and then Mudda started throwing pics in bunches. It would have been awesome if The Pali-elites would have hung on to win but no dice. Good thing about the Elites – they get a little better each week. 

Skeezers by 10

>Standings Busters<

Conquistadors / No Soup for you +8

The Conquistadors Boot strapped the friendship club. No Soup for you couldn’t get by the Uncle Rico’s time machine. The Conquistadors are playing above themselves. Rolling up the wins – feeling the vibe, riding the bull. They are flying high. The other thing they are is Jlaws bitch. They know it, they live it. In their league they go undefeated and Jordon takes their lunch money in the playoffs.  No soup for you is Jlaws backup team and it’s not the playoffs so we don’t expect the fireworks. Yet.

The conquistadors by 8

>Better off going to K.O. for a craft brew<

Bad Apples / Friendship Club +4

Bad Apples had off. The friendship Club lost to the Conquistadors. The Bad apples are giving the off the stench of a decaying squirrel. It’s to the point that nobody really wants to play wearing the bad apples uniform which by the way they can’t decide on. The last time they played they lost to the light weight Conquistadors. The consensus thinking on the Friendship club is that they are playing possum until the tournament so they can walk away with another over-all Championship. We hope so – they’ve been sad. Lame. Depending on who shows this could be a wild game. At least the after party at K.O. will bump beats.

Bad Apples by 10

>Dog of the week<

Tittsburgh Feelers / Balls and Dolls +5

The Feelers had off. Balls and Dolls got bitch-slapped by Froddo Swaggins. When We – The Western New York Touch Football association Writers Association© dominated in College Intramural touch football we played P0&P games ( pronounced POP ). That’s where you drink like fools before and during the game and play until you pass out or puke. The Tittsburgh feelers are trying their darndest to resurrect that fine tradition. These guys run into K.O. before their game slam trays of shots and carpool the half block to the fieldhouse to see if they can make it through their game without pissing on themselves. It’s not great football but here we are.

Balls & Dolls are back to old habits – meaning they suck worse and need to find a way to get in the end zone. The worse thing about this game is that it is at the highly regarded 6pm high viewing time. Ugh. Can it be moved?

Tittsburgh by 6

Things to remember:

>The first ever all men’s 5 on 5 division in the tournament should be balls. We can’t wait. Could be a division in the summer league.

>Remember that during blind draw week the 1st place team in Group 2 plays the last place team in group 1. >We’re betting – the skeezers vs. Friendship club. Joey Baggs vs Matty Ice – whooo –hoo.

>A website update? Already?! Nice.

> 10 spots left for the summer league. Can’t wait. 

> Ekleck is trying to play on 3 teams in the tournament. focus on 1 maybe you won’t suck as much.

> General Mills is back for the tournament. Which means the huge green Lucky Charms raffle.

> The M/ile bee team’s new Yellow uniforms are back. Yellow? Who wears yellow?

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